1番のサビは、1:27からです。The main part start at 1:27. ↓English lyrics are listed below. 「お前を殺して警察に自首するから」と父に神妙な面持ちで言われたよ…。 今でもその言葉に苛まれ続けている…。 僕はお母さんと話がしたい!　そう思ったのは午後7時 だけどお父さんは夕飯を食べ終えて気力満タンで お母さんの事を独占　10時になっても終わらず 甲高い父さんの笑い声聞こえ　僕は無気力散々なんだよ…。 午後10時半過ぎて漸く　お父さんが寝る為、自分の部屋に向かい やっとお母さんと話せると思っていたら お母さん寝てたよ　それを見て、不満が溜まって爆発した僕は 大声で叫びながら壁を「ウオーッ!」と怒鳴りながら殴る 僕の騒音で目が覚めた母が 僕を察して眠い目を擦り怒る僕の傍に来てくれて 話を聞いてくれたお陰で僕は落ち着く事が出来た 翌朝僕は両親に謝ったら父さんが僕を呼び出して 「お前を殺して警察に自首する」と言う言葉で始まる父の説教 まるで何も悪いトコなんか無いような素振りを見せ 「お前を殺して警察に自首する、と何回想って来たか、僕は…。」 と言いたいのを堪えながら父さんの話聞かされている…。 僕は20年以上前に実は「妹を殺す」と冗談で言ったら 父がキレて「絶対に許さねえぞ!」と言ってた事を 今度は自分が言っている、ってか自分は言っても良いのかよ!? なんて言ったらブチギレられるかも?　「ウオーッ!」って怒鳴りながら殴る 「妹の事はどんなに裏切られても守るんだ!」と言ってたが 僕には「出て行けこのクソガキャー!」と言われた 僕の事を父は殺しても良いと思ってんだ 他人の事を言えないけれど、冗談でも子供にそんな事言うんだ…。 「お前を殺して警察に自首する」と言う言葉があまりにもショックで 父の言う事が頭に入って来ない(僕の)素振りを見て 「人の話を聞けクソガキコラ!」と言ってる父は僕の話の腰を何度も折る 話を聞いていないのはそっちの方だろ? 僕が話をしていると父は話を遮って 小難しい事言いながら僕を黙らせて来る こんな事を他の人には言う筈が無いのに何故 僕に言えてしまうんだろう? つまり僕の事はその辺に居る赤の他人より どうでも良いと言う事なのかな? 僕が妹にされた事を正直に話すと父が 「そんな事をする筈が無い、お前の勘違いだ!」と言われ 更には僕の事を「被害妄想激しい」とも言った その癖、自分が同じ目に遭うと　相手をひたすら罵りまくるんだ 自分の事は神棚に祀り上げながら 「お前を殺して警察に自首する」と言い始めて母も来たらすぐに 飼っている猫達も来て父の周辺を回っている 猫達も本能で解るんだ　家族に何かが起きているという事を 父に何かが遭ったら彼等も生きては行けない事を悟ってるよ 「お前を殺して警察に自首して欲しくないなら精神科に行って薬飲め!」 って言われた　自分の事を棚に上げて 僕を虐待したその時に精神科で治そうとしなかった奴が何を言ってるの? 他人には厳しく自分には超甘いんだろう…。 だけど世話になってるし言う事聞くしか無いのかな? 僕には「物を壊すな!」と言ったけど　貴方が僕を殴った事について 「物は壊れるけど、お前の傷は治るだろ?」と 「それに若いから治り早い」と言われて反論したいけど 父には喧嘩じゃ勝てないしきっと「ウオーッ!」と怒鳴りながら殴られる…。 説明文：私が今迄のストレスが爆発して癇癪を起した時に、私はすぐに謝りました。しかし父は私を虐待したり、兄妹差別して来た事について謝られた事は、残念ながら今迄一度もありません。それに対する悔しさをこの歌に込めてみました。ちなみに、母はとても話の聞き上手で、近所の人は勿論、遠くの知り合いもたまにわざわざ来る程です。ちなみに父は、喧嘩も初老の男性にしては強いですが、それ以上に口が達者で場の空気を自分にだけ最適化させる事に長けてます。父は知人から「言葉と空気の魔術師」と言われる程です。それを私や、父の辛いな人に対して悪用してるから、正に魔術です。確かに、世の中には私より酷い目に遭わされてる方も居ますが、私の父も充分毒親だと思うのですが皆さんはどう思いますでしょうか?。 My father said to me with a mysterious look on his face, “I’m going to kill you and turn myself in to the police,” and I’m still tormented by those words…. I want to talk to my mother! I want to talk to my mom!　 At 10:00 pm, I hear my dad’s high-pitched laughter and I’m still lethargic…. After 10:30 p.m., my dad finally went to his room to go to bed, and I thought I could finally talk to my mom, but she was asleep. and punching it angrily. My mother woke up from my noise, rubbed her sleepy eyes and came to my side to listen to my anger, which helped me calm down. The next morning I apologized to my parents, and my father called me in and began his sermon by saying, “I’m going to kill you and turn myself in to the police. He acted as if there was nothing wrong with me. “How many times have I thought to myself, ‘I’m going to kill you and turn myself in to the police…'” I’ve thought about killing you and turning myself in to the police…” I try to hold back the urge to say this, but he keeps telling me his story…. I told my father that more than 20 years ago, when I jokingly said I would kill my sister, he was furious and said, “I’ll never forgive you! I was furious and said, “I’ll never forgive you! I’m not allowed to say it, or I’m not allowed to say it! I’m going to yell at him and hit him. He’s going to hit me, yelling at me. “I’ll protect my sister no matter how much she betrays me!” But I’m like, “Get out of here, you little shit!” He said to me, “Get out of here, you little shit! My father thinks it’s okay to kill me… I can’t speak for other people, but he says that to his kids, even in jest… I was so shocked by his words, “I’m going to kill you and turn myself in to the police,” that I couldn’t take what my father was saying into my head. He says, “Listen to me, you little shit!” My father kept breaking my story, and I was the one who wasn’t listening, wasn’t I? I’m talking, and he interrupts me, and he’s trying to shut me up with all this small talk. How could he say this to me when he would never say this to anyone else? Does that mean he doesn’t care about me as much as some stranger around here? When I told my father the truth about what my sister had done to me, he said, “No one would do such a thing, you’re mistaken! He also said that I was “paranoid and delusional”. He also called me paranoid. He also called me “paranoid.” But when I was in the same situation, he would just curse at the other person, while he worshipped himself on the altar. He started saying, “I’m going to kill you and turn myself in to the police,” and as soon as my mother came, his cats came too and started circling my father’s neighborhood. The cats instinctively know that something is happening to the family. They know that if something happens to my father, they won’t survive. He told me, “If you don’t want me to kill you and turn myself in to the police, go to a shrink and take some pills!” They said, “If you don’t want me to kill you and turn myself in to the police, go to a psychiatrist and take your pills! What kind of a man abuses me and doesn’t go to a psychiatrist for help? I know he’s hard on others and super lenient on himself… But he’s taking care of me, so I guess I have no choice but to listen to him, right? You told me not to break things! But when you hit me, you said, “Things get broken, but your wounds heal.” He said, “And you’re young, so it’ll heal faster. I want to argue with him, but I can’t win a fight with my father, and I’m sure he’d yell at me, “Oof! I want to argue, but I can’t win a fight with my father, and I’m sure he’ll beat me up and yell at me… Explanation: When I threw a tantrum due to the stress I had been under, I immediately apologized. But my father has never apologized for abusing me or discriminating against my siblings. Unfortunately, he has never apologized for abusing me or discriminating against my siblings. I put my frustration into this song.